So this is my first ever blog! The whole point of it being to hopefully let some bottled up emotions out, and let the people know where im coming from. To begin id guess that i would classify my life so far as hectic. Ive only been alive for 17 some-odd years and i feel like ive experienced more than half the 35yearolds out there. Yet there is so much more to experience.
My life has been a blur so far. Of course i remember growing up and all of my childhood friends, but all of that seems unimportant, part of the past. I dont believe that looking back will get me anywhere, and so why not look forward? My family is somewhat normal, other than the fact that my father passed away about 2 years ago at the age of 46. He left me and my mother, and my 3 brothers to fend for outselves in this crazy life. But by the time he passed, my 2 older brother had gone off to start their own lives, and me and my little brother had to try to cope with what was left. It seemed as though they were ready to move on, they had spent their time with him, playing catch, or sidekick on business trips, but i felt cheated. The greatest man on the face of the earth, in my mind, just disappeared.
16 is a confusing time in everyones life, but my teenage years were filled with sorrow and grief over the sudden death of the man who raised me. At the time i had a girlfriend, and my 2 best friends and they all felt the pain of my fathers passing like i did. And that summer was one of confusion and pain. My friends stayed by my side, and while the girl was the one who i could talk with about this event, the companionship of my friends was comforting as well.
As the summer closed and school began, the girl began to leave, and so did my friends. My best friend moved 3,000 miles away, and the other began a serious relationship that appearently needed more time then me. So there i was, alone, and coping with the death of a parent.
Im not one to ask for sympathy, and i especially hate when people try to get the sympathy and attention of others, so i put on my school face, and behaved like the Austin everyone knew and cared for. To this day not many people know that my father passed away, and i keep it that way, because in my mind people have their own problems, and they dont need to deal with mine.
And as i began that semester, i found love. Not with a girl, and especially not with a boy, but with Running. I had played football throughout middle school, and ran hurdles in track, but my friend was a Cross Country runner. He eventually persuaded me to give it a try, and i fell completely head over heels for distance running.
I didnt recognize it then, and at the time it was merely an escape of all the things i had to deal with. Running was a way to forget who i was, and compete with myself and the people around me. Running became my Muse.
